My parents may be getting on a bit, but that’s still no excuse for just how badly tonight’s phone conversation went…

Them: How are you feeling?

Me: Shit.

Them: About the protests?

Me: No, about Jeffrey Epstein’s cat. COURSE about the protests.

Them: What’s the worse that could happen?

Me: Are you serious??

Them: The PLA will march in and Hong Kong will become the New Shanghai!

Me: I think you’re missing the point.

Them: Lots of people love Shanghai!

Me: Yeah, Mainlanders.

Them: No, Hongkongers move there, too! They love it!

Me: Well, if Hong Kong’s the New Shanghai, there’d be no point moving to Old Shanghai, would there? Might as well stay put and wait.

Them: You said 15 years ago that you’d like to live in Shang.

Me: No, I said I’d like to live in THE Shang, as in Shangri-La, as in hotel, as in harbor view, as in Hong Kong, as in not in Sai Kung.

Them: Wouldn’t the protests put you off?

Me: Look, I’ve gotta go. Dog…hair…house…pants on fire.

Them: Ok, have a lovely evening!

And they call themselves Liberals.