Things to do with a mooncake:
1. Smash a window
2. Cave in an intruder’s skull
3. Eat it
If you’re not sure you can manage a whole one:
1. Smother it in English mustard
2. Pair it with a pickled egg
3. Pretend it’s a pork pie that’s passed its sell-by
4. Wash it down with a bottle of Absinthe