It’s both gratifying and petrifying that I very nearly predicted this one right! Penned the day before the 2016 UK referendumb and way before Trump took a dump on the world stage. There’s a lesson here…
Be careful what you don’t wish for!
Ahh, that’s it.
AS BAD AS IT GETS – PROMO ON SOUNDCLOUD
As Bad As It Gets, the sequel to Sadie Kaye‘s AIB award-winning doc The Bipolar Express airs for the first time on RTHK July 13, 2019 @8.30! Stand by for trailers and teasers (to be released later this month). The doc’s broadcast will be followed by the launch of the Mental Ideas Podcast on RTHK. Miss Adventure has a recurring guest role…
Things to do with a mooncake:
1. Smash a window
2. Cave in an intruder’s skull
3. Eat it
If you’re not sure you can manage a whole one:
1. Smother it in English mustard
2. Pair it with a pickled egg
3. Pretend it’s a pork pie that’s passed its sell-by
4. Wash it down with a bottle of Absinthe
Miss Adventure meets President Trump and his other self, accompanying them both to a press conference to meet “Mother” Theresa May.
Miss Adventure is a completely made up fictional character. She was born in 2012, when New York indie Summerhill TV produced an improvised skit with rock band Motorhead at Madison Square Garden. The episode aired on Funny or Die, where it (briefly) became FoD’s ‘Highest Rated Video – All Time‘. For the past few years, ‘Miss Adventure’ has shambled her way through regular comedy broadcasts on RTHK Radio 3. Any resemblance to Sadie Kaye is purely in your head, although they did meet once at a riot in Repulse Bay.
My predictions for the UK:
2016 Britain breaks from Europe
2017 Scotland breaks from Britain
2018 Northern England breaks from Britain and joins Scotland. Northern Ireland considers joining Eire, before a referendum decides that they join Scotland
2019 Wales declares itself a sovereign state. Two weeks later, North Wales declares itself a separate sovereign state to South Wales
2020 What’s left of England reverts to Wessex
2021 Cornwall revolts and declares independence from Wessex. Devon and Somerset follow. Jacob Rees-Mogg proclaims himself King of Somerset
2022 London’s Eurocrats declare London a province of France and the former Capital becomes known as Northern North France. Hackney revolts and joins Syria
2023 The Prime Minister declares Winchester the Capital of Wessex
2024 Scotland invades Wessex and Glaswegian becomes all former Britons’ mother tongue
My predictions for the US:
2016 Trump triumphs and is declared the most powerful man on earth
2017 California revolts and declares itself Greater Mexico. Meanwhile, New York joins Canada
2019 Florida declares itself a province of Cuba
2020 Sarah Palin declares Alaska a province of neighboring Russia
2020 Trump is declared the most powerful man in his bathroom
The Entire Democratic World:
2020 Teenagers, realizing Democracy is in crisis, declare their bedrooms independent sovereign states of which they are the sovereigns
2025 We must carry a passport at all times, just to move from room to room in our own homes
Democracy. It’s a wonderful thing. We must never lose it. What would Kim Jong-un have to laugh at then?