There’s nothing I enjoy more in life than having a good rant! So thanks to editor Chris Wood for giving me an opportunity to have a cheeky ‘Bipolar Word’ in the ‘RANT’ section of theSouth China Morning Post‘sPost MagazineMay 1st! This is the first opportunity the SCMP have given me to be anything other than a clown. I’m not suggesting ranting is bonafide journalism but it’s almost certainly the closest I’ll get to it!
Aiya! My editor just emailed to say my rant’s been bumped from Sunday’s mag for something that’s “time sensitive” (it better not be another u-turn on lifting Covid restrictions by Carrie Lam!) He’s promised me faithfully my rant will be published “very soon”, so hopefully the following Sunday, the Sunday after that, or definitely by the end of the year. Sorry!
My rant is more of a Bipolar War Story, but check out the views Contro Vento Films and Mental Ideas‘s Bipolar Love Story has had on YouTube! Thanks to everyone who has watched and supported its mental health mission!
A couple of old rants in SCMP articles I did not write myself…
Today’sBunny Runfor Home Kong Kitchen was EPIC!!! Thanks to everyone who baked and donated melt-in-the-mouth hot crossed buns, melt-in-the-car cup cakes, melt-down-your-shirt choc chip muffins and melt-on-your-mask chocolate eggs, plus cookies, cuddly toys, painted eggs, mounds of bread and other thoughtful treats for our heart-melting homeless, migrant and refugee friends!
Honorable mentions go to Alana, Jean, the Neetu’s (1-10), Asha, Deepa, Amy, Roselle, Mags, Jess and Tina! I love you all! 💜 Happy Easter, Homies!🐣
As Hong Kong looks forward to catching up with the rest of the world and living with the virus by allowing groups of up to 4 people to dine out until 10pm (beaches remain closed though and you still have to wear a mask to hike by yourself on a mountain just in case), here’s one to try! Our inspirational friends @ImpactHK have just launched The Kind Kitchen, which employs the formerly homeless and provides them with on-the-job training and free housing. Please support the homeless by planning your next big night out until 10pm here! You won’t regret it! 🤩 🇭🇰
Usually, I steer away from committees, assuming I will be a liability, but last month I decided to commit to a minor role as Critique Group Coordinator on the Hong Kong Writers Circle‘s committee. This is my first experience of being on a committee and my second experience of being committed. In case you’re wondering ‘how is that possible?’ I was committed to a psychiatric hospital for a month in 2011. I’m hoping my experience on a psych ward will stand me in good stead for this demanding role. Question 1 to anyone interested in joining a critique group: ‘Do you know why you’re here?’ Nope? Good! Me neither.
Crazy scenes across Hong Kong for the past few months as the panic buying craze spread faster than the virus. Supermarkets and pharmacies stripped bare. Even things like toothpaste (?) Like brushing your teeth was going to put Omicron off! “Sorry, mate, your breath stinks like stale dog biscuits. I’m going to infect the woman behind you instead. Unlike you, she flosses, too,” Omicron didn’t say.
Last month, Home Kong Kitchen volunteer Mojo Hobo Kaye launched his campaign to ‘Make Hong Kong Barely Tolerable Again‘ by urging Hongkongers to ‘Stop the Woofing Panic Buying!’ He then stole and fraudulently used my credit card to purchase himself a new baseball cap emblazoned with his slogan. Yesterday, Carrie Lam announced that she would not be running for a second term as Chief Executive. Government sources refused to confirm or deny whether Mojo had influenced her decision. However, Junius Ho warned that Mojo’s hat might have contravened the National Security Law. Police are still investigating whether the poodle colluded with foreign forces when he purchased the cap on Amazon.
The empty shelves, soaring food prices and tough restrictions have been making things trickier atHome Kong Kitchen. But thanks to the dogged determination of HKK‘s incredible volunteers, we have somehow managed to keep operating and delivering home baked breakfasts, dry foods, canned foods and medical supplies to the homeless, migrants and refugees. Thanks to everyone who has generously contributed! Every humble delivery of just a few necessities has felt like a mini-miracle. We are now collecting gifts of food, clothing, books, toys and festive treats for our Easter Bun Run and would LOVE to have your support! Emailhello@homekongkitchen.comto find out how you can help!
My smoke alarm hasn’t stopped ringing this week! Thanks to the On Air Festival making it one of their Official Selects and support from the Women with WiPS, Bake Fail is the episode of my saucy humor column for RTHK Radio 3 that refuses to burn out. My culinary cautionary tale will be published in the ‘Foodie’ section of the South China Morning Post‘s Post Magazine April 3rd! Please check it out as I doubt I will have another opportunity to mention myself in the same sentence as ‘Foodie’.
Sharp Pains is taking a short sabbatical because my legendary partner in crime Noreen Mir is having a baby!!! You’d think she’d be put off extending her family by my columns but no, she told me she found them an aphrodisiac. The columns are now being repurposed as traditional Chinese medicine to beat Covid and boost population growth. But don’t worry – Sharp Pains will be back on the air before you’ve had time to notice it’s missing! (And my absurdist spinoff Meet the New Parents could even be out sooner than that!!)
Thanks to everybody who has viewed, liked and shared Transferenceon YouTube, where it has just topped a whopping 8.5M Views!!! 8 is considered the luckiest number of all in Chinese culture, associated with wealth. As a gesture of goodwill and to pay the way for future film collaborations, I am marking this moment by writing director Raffaello Degruttola a cheque, immediately, for the sum of HK$8 (US$1.02), doubling his net worth! 😆
If you haven’t already seen it, you can view the feature-length film I was lucky enough to co-produce below!
Thanks to theWomen with Whips, sorry WiPS, for giving me a cracking welcome to the Women in Publishing Society and plugging my writing, bake fails, and other obvious shortcomings on their Woman at Work platform! Can’t wait to whip up a frenzy of creative collaborations with these crazy, inspiring women! Just putting the final spit and polish (so far, just spit) on my submissions for this year’s Imprint anthology, Imprint 21, which will hopefully be launched (Covidy wavey things permitting) at an event at the FCC in November!
Thanks to the On Air Festivalin Brooklyn, New York, for selecting theBake Failepisode of my screwy humor column forRTHK Radio 3,Sharp Pains, as one of their 2022Official Selects! So happy to have been included in this good vibes festival that emphasizes experimentation, a unique point of view, and explores storytelling and creativity in sound!✨
Hear me roar on the irrepressible Ran Elfassy‘sShooting ItRaw podcast, where I will be his 101 guest. His podcast has an intriguing photography element. He’s also a fellow Sai Kunger. Convenient… But that’s not why I’m doing it. He won me over with the line, “Did you know that each time you write ‘sorry’ to me, a tiger cub gets horrible and explosive diarrhea? It’s true. It’s SCIENCE!” It sounds just as credible as the rest of the science being applied in HK. 🤪