Of all the faux pas I could be reasonably gagged and life imprisoned for under the HKSAR’s new, sweeping National Security Law, this month’s horoscopes in Hong Kong Buzz seemed the least subversive. So imagine my surprise when I received an email from editor Robin Bradbeer informing me that this month’s litany of criminally insane predictions had been personally approved by Friend To The Stars superfan Xi Jinpin, a Gemini, but banned by that bastion of democratic free speech, Google, for ‘violating its sexual content policy’?

My reaction was understandably seditious, as it had taken me a full five minutes to divine them. Luckily, the sticky situation was swiftly resolved when editor and plucky ex-lawyer Robin colluded with Bat Man and appealed. Then, when that failed, Jupiter threatened to post naked pictures of Google’s mum on Porn Hub.

Ahhh, I’ll miss this malarkey when the Great Firewall comes crashing down……

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Miss Adventure Friend to the Stars superfan Xi
‘Friend To The Stars’ Superfan Xi, a Gemini

August 2020 Horoscopes by RTHK Radio 3’s ‘Miss Adventure’: Friend To The Stars

Lockdown your daughters! Lockdown your sons! Lockdown your spouses! Lockdown your helpers! Lockdown your pets! 

Miss Adventure has finally clambered oh-so-elegantly out of that strange parallel universe she’s been inhabiting for the past couple of months (ok, she may have written most of these in a fit of predictive psychosis way back in 2019, when tear gas, rubber bullets and fire bombs were all we had to worry about – happy days!) to bring you THESE hurriedly updated, probably dangerously accurate Lockdown Lowdown predictions for the month ahead in her latest column for Hong Kong Buzz!

Lockdown Lowdown

https://hongkongbuzz.hk/2020/03/april-2020-horoscopes-by-rthk-radio-3s-miss-adventure-friend-to-the-stars