So… a white American teacher in his mid-50s has been exposed by super-sleuth Nury Vittachi, Hong Kong’s answer to Danger Mouse, for posing as a young Chinese activist all over the world’s media, writing prolifically about his experiences as a student leader in the Hong Kong Protests for the New York Times and the Guardian, winning praise from ex-guv Chris Patten, being followed on Twitter by Joshua Wong and Nathan Law and writing several books about his experiences as a younger, better looking Chinese dude.

I myself have occasionally dabbled in the murky world of pseudonyms. My legal name is obviously Miss Adventure, but if I want to write, produce or present something that’s really sh*t, I will invariably use the pseudonym Sadie Kaye. The tragic thing is that Sadie Kaye, unlike Kong Tsung-gan, is a real person. Real as in really, really thick. It’s been 8 years and she hasn’t even noticed all the phony baloney I’ve been putting out as her. Also we both look quite similar because we were both born in a lighthouse on an artificial island 5 miles off the coast of Sai Kung, which makes my identity theft more legitimate somehow.

But this article does throw up some uncomfortable moral dilemmas. Who is the man in the profile picture? And does it count as yellow face if the picture is in black and white?

https://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/society/article/3097523/hong-kong-activist-writer-kong-tsung-gan-confirms-thats-only

Kong Tsung-gan

Brace yourselves for another “slightly strange” (yeah… thanks Noreen 🤣) episode of my Mental Ideas strand of RTHK‘s 123 Show! This week my guest is the inspirational Christina Yung! She banks. She cares for her Mum. She writes books and takes magical photographs of Hong Kong old shops. She’s in tears twice during the interview and has the most infectious raucous laugh I’ve ever had the pleasure of developing tinnitus from!

Bit of an emotional rollercoaster this week as we discuss dementia and the Hong Kong Protests among other topics. Obviously this was recorded way back in BC (Before Coronavirus), hence all the hugging. I’d be arrested (again) for all that Friends BS now.

On next week’s episode of Mental Ideas veterans Mat Ricardo and Dan Davies return and recount their most memorable experiences with internet trolls in Trolls Anonymous. Only Dan has another word for them… and he uses it a lot…

Catch me LIVE on RTHK Radio 3 in about… oooh… TWO HOURS!!! You can now download all the podcasts in this series in one mental place! Check out my new page on the RTHK website by clicking HERE!

The Depressed Banker - Mental Ideas Podcast

Links!

The Depressed Banker on RTHK Radio 3

Christina Yung’s website

Small Shops, Big Hearts

Christina in the SCMP

Previous Podcasts!

The Depressed Comedian

A Bipolar Love Story

The Agitated Air Stewardess

The Psychopathic Actor

The Criminal Sleepwalker

Death & The Frozen Tundra

Virtually Eugenia

I’m excited to be collaborating with the Hong Kong Writers Circle producing and presenting a brand new strand of podcasts exploring the timely theme of Masking The City: Hong Kong in Allegory!

Writer Unblocked showcases original short stories, poetry and humor to unlock and unblock Hong Kong’s creative art and soul. While some lucky writers and artists have been feeling creatively inspired by the protests, lockdown and surreality of social distancing, others have been left feeling disoriented, emotionally locked and creatively blocked.

Join me, familiar and debut voices from the Hong Kong Writers Circle as we attempt to ease the ‘blockdown’. The series will be recorded Sept/Oct 2020 and tie in with the publication of the HKWC’s 2020 anthology in November! The first episode will be recorded Sept 14 and feature Chief Editor Nathan Lauer and HKWC Chair Chris Maden.

The week in pictures…

ATM
Trying to find an ATM that works in Hong Kong is turning into a nightly drama…
MTR
…Or you could walk home?

2019. Half the world is setting it on fire. The other half is putting it out.

If you live in Hong Kong and want to see your new Birkin bag sprayed with graffiti, then freed into the stinky dead harbor to see if it can swim, you may want to invest in one of these… 

Birkin Flag Bag.jpeg

ONLY USD$125,000! HURRY, WHILE STOCKS LAST!!!

#FREE MY BIRKIN BAG!

My parents may be getting on a bit, but that’s still no excuse for just how badly tonight’s phone conversation went…

Them: How are you feeling?

Me: Shit.

Them: About the protests?

Me: No, about Jeffrey Epstein’s cat. COURSE about the protests.

Them: What’s the worse that could happen?

Me: Are you serious??

Them: The PLA will march in and Hong Kong will become the New Shanghai!

Me: I think you’re missing the point.

Them: Lots of people love Shanghai!

Me: Yeah, Mainlanders.

Them: No, Hongkongers move there, too! They love it!

Me: Well, if Hong Kong’s the New Shanghai, there’d be no point moving to Old Shanghai, would there? Might as well stay put and wait.

Them: You said 15 years ago that you’d like to live in Shang.

Me: No, I said I’d like to live in THE Shang, as in Shangri-La, as in hotel, as in harbor view, as in Hong Kong, as in not in Sai Kung.

Them: Wouldn’t the protests put you off?

Me: Look, I’ve gotta go. Dog…hair…house…pants on fire.

Them: Ok, have a lovely evening!

And they call themselves Liberals.

Let's Pretend None of This Ever Happened..
I am trying…

I’ve had a quick look at the weather forecast and it seems no amount of water cannoning by the Chinese army/ Hong Kong Police/ Chinese army dressed up as Hong Kong Police/ Hong Kong Police dressed up as Protesters/ Protesters dressed up as Foreign Journalists/ Foreign Journalists dressed up as Bruce Lee Tribute Acts can compete with what Mother Nature has in store for us this week…

Weather

Even more of a dampener, every 7-11 in Hong Kong has sold out of umbrellas.

There’s been very little to make light of in Hong Kong this week. Did I really write Planes, Trains & Climate Change only a week ago, boasting of how a peaceful sit in protest at the airport had not disrupted any flights? Had I really spent much of the past year writing a comedy kids’ book called Hong Kong Has Gone!? You couldn’t make it up! Well, unfortunately, I did. Another writing project consigned to my cluttered desktop folder of Accidentally Inappropriate Doomed Self-Fulfilling Prophecies. But my helper did achieve the impossible this morning, and raise a small smile, when I saw that she had moved this rather spartan, typhoon-ravaged pot plant around (unwittingly, I think, as a devout Christian) to face like this…

Phalictus Plant.jpeg

What do you see? Or is it just me?

HK

Hong Kong Closed

Edge of The Abyss
Hong Kong: Mind The Abyss

It’s hard to predict what tomorrow’s “something new” announcement by Beijing could bring, but we could have a smarter dressed, slightly more militarized version of Neighborhood Watch in Hong Kong.

Neighborhood Watch